Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Surviving each day

There are different definitions of "survivor". I have always thought it was someone who "beat cancer". Now I am learning that to say that restricts those who have earned the title from getting it. I am embracing the fact that I am indeed a survivor already. Here's the obstacles that I have overcome to earn this distinction.

  • I survived calling my doctor and saying "I found a lump"
  • I survived 3 mammograms, infinite ultrasounds and 4 biopsies in a 3 hour period
  • I survived the shock of hearing the words "you have cancer"
  • I survived telling my family knowing I was ripping out their hearts in the process
  • I survived the battery of tests to determine what I had and where it was. 
  • I survived waiting for the results which was infinitely more torturous than the actual tests themselves
  • I survived consultations and feeling like the world has now seen my upper body which I was never comfortable displaying
  • I survived making the toughest decision I have ever had to make
  • I survived a double mastectomy with tissue expanders, and I healed well
  • I survived having surgical drains in for two weeks
  • I survived the fever that came when the drains came out
  • I survived my first expansion
  • I survived my first two funerals as a cancer patient
  • I survived my port insertion
  • I survived wig shopping (one would think this would be easy, but knowing you are about to lose your hair and have no control over it is not fun!)
  • I survived finding a dress for a wedding that looks great and covers my port (and I love it!)
I have many more trials to go through yet, but I will do so with my head held high. There is no other way. I am proud of my accomplishments and know I will continue to shine. I will keep on surviving. 

3 comments:

  1. Thinking of you all the time, Nicole. Congratulations on all you've already achieved. Sending lots of prayers and e-hugs from DC. <3 Good luck with everything - this week and beyond.

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  2. So proud of you! You are not only surviving ... you are thriving! Love you!

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  3. You're doing so great Nicole..not only surviving but getting thru each hurdle amazingly and with great poise and strength...and overachieving each step of the way!! Keep it up!! Love u, jackie

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