Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Surviving each day

There are different definitions of "survivor". I have always thought it was someone who "beat cancer". Now I am learning that to say that restricts those who have earned the title from getting it. I am embracing the fact that I am indeed a survivor already. Here's the obstacles that I have overcome to earn this distinction.

  • I survived calling my doctor and saying "I found a lump"
  • I survived 3 mammograms, infinite ultrasounds and 4 biopsies in a 3 hour period
  • I survived the shock of hearing the words "you have cancer"
  • I survived telling my family knowing I was ripping out their hearts in the process
  • I survived the battery of tests to determine what I had and where it was. 
  • I survived waiting for the results which was infinitely more torturous than the actual tests themselves
  • I survived consultations and feeling like the world has now seen my upper body which I was never comfortable displaying
  • I survived making the toughest decision I have ever had to make
  • I survived a double mastectomy with tissue expanders, and I healed well
  • I survived having surgical drains in for two weeks
  • I survived the fever that came when the drains came out
  • I survived my first expansion
  • I survived my first two funerals as a cancer patient
  • I survived my port insertion
  • I survived wig shopping (one would think this would be easy, but knowing you are about to lose your hair and have no control over it is not fun!)
  • I survived finding a dress for a wedding that looks great and covers my port (and I love it!)
I have many more trials to go through yet, but I will do so with my head held high. There is no other way. I am proud of my accomplishments and know I will continue to shine. I will keep on surviving. 


  1. Thinking of you all the time, Nicole. Congratulations on all you've already achieved. Sending lots of prayers and e-hugs from DC. <3 Good luck with everything - this week and beyond.

  2. So proud of you! You are not only surviving ... you are thriving! Love you!

  3. You're doing so great Nicole..not only surviving but getting thru each hurdle amazingly and with great poise and strength...and overachieving each step of the way!! Keep it up!! Love u, jackie