Today was a good day. I was blessed to receive good news. After much waiting and angst and annoying a few nurses at Hackensack, I finally got the results of the bone scan! All clear!!!! Woooooohhhhhoooooooooooooooo!
That's a big step. Now I just need the same result to come of my pet scan tomorrow. Please please please pray for me. I am tired of the worry. I truly believe that if the pet scan is good and it's "only" breast cancer, all will be doable. When the nurse confirmed what I had been dying to hear today, I felt, if only for a moment, like everything would be ok.
I have a new aspiration in life. To join the elite group of phenomenal women who are called "survivors"! I always knew they were a special group, but I am learning so quickly just how very special indeed. It's a sisterhood that requires one hell of a pledge season. Delta Zeta had nothing on this! (no offense sisters) It's an honor to even be in the preliminary stages of earning that badge. I hope one day to make them all proud and walk amongst them, having earned my title by beating this ridiculous disease with my head held high. I do believe that this is what I am meant to do. I hope and pray I am right.
The worry is exhausting. I thought chasing around a two year old was tiring. That has nothing on chasing my own fear. Trying to shove it out of my mind. The good news helped boost my confidence a bit. I know I sound like a broken record, but I just need one more piece of good news and I'm good.
I have a feeling this is going to be one of the longest weeks of my life. I'm hoping that it also ends up being one of my best. If the news is what I hope for, I am much more assured that I will reach my goal and beat this nonsense!
Tonight's musical inspiration? Bon Jovi: "Hey man, I'm alive. I'm taking each day one night at a time. I'm feeling like a monday, but someday I'll be Saturday niiiiiiiighhhhhtttt!"