I think one of the toughest adjustments for me has been accepting help from others. Most people who know me know that I am pretty independent and am used to taking care of myself and anyone else who comes along. So my first thought when I was diagnosed was, "who is going to take care of everyone while I am sick?" And I started assigning people to buddy up and watch out for each other.
People have told me it is my turn to let others help. I can't lie. That's just weird to me. I remember thinking I didn't know how to do that. In fact, one of my first memories of NWC was Jackie telling me it was my turn to let people take care of me and I said I didn't think I could. But I am learning every day. And I am realizing that I can, and really, I don't have a choice. As much as I like to pretend I am superwoman, I guess I really can't do it all.
So many wonderful people have offered their help. Some have been involved in the early stages of this, and pretty intensely. To those, I say "THANK YOU!"
To those who I haven't yet tapped into, I say "thank you" in advance. Fear not, your day will come to help.
Everyone has a different role to play, and each role will come in at different times. For example, some will make me laugh, some will rough up a few doctors on my behalf, some will plant me a garden (or already have), some will get chauffeur duties, some will cook or clean, some will be in charge of intense prayers, some will make play lists to inspire me, some will just allow their lives to go on so I can remember that life is good, some with get Steven (and I know there have been a few fights over him already...), some will just love me.
Please know that no matter what you do, even if it's a word of encouragement or a prayer or a full blown meal, it all is appreciated! Even the smallest things mean so much.
Please keep praying for good PET scan results!! I hope to post good news soon. The fighter in me is just ready and gearing up for the big fight. I just want to know my opponent and know I can win!
To cancer, here's what I have to say: "you're gonna wish you never had met me!"