Tuesday, August 23, 2011

chemo rocked my world

Ok, maybe that was the earthquake. You know you have been through a rough road when your first thought while experiencing an act of God is "wow, is this another chemo side effect?" Yes, that happened.

The last few days have been challenging to say the least. 

Sunday night started the latest craziness. I have been in hospital twice since then due to fevers, including one trip in that monsoon sunday night. I have had lots of bloodwork done that give us very little clues as to what's causing my fever and extreme fatigue.  But here's hoping it's under control now. Time will tell. Waiting to see how tonight goes since it seems to happen later in the day. 

I was at my wits end going to the hospital, especially the second time. I was scared, tired, and felt crappy. Not a pleasant combination. But, I was able to go home both times. The good news is that my blood counts are staying strong. That's the main concern. They keep checking to see if they drop because then infections become more dangerous. The sucky part is, you can't take tylenol or anything when the fever comes on until they assess you. I know it would make me feel better to take it, so it's frustrating to know I can't. 

However, as always, Steve and I did find things to laugh about, even in the ER. For example, the fact that we were watching wedding crashers, and the nurses only seemed to check in at the most ridiculous scenes, like when the crazy brother sneaks into the bedroom. We found it amusing to watch them try to keep a straight face, with the movie in the background. We eventually took it easy on them and muted it when they came in. 

Here's one nice plus about being a cancer patient. When you get sent to the ER, you get a private room. Trust me, that makes it much more pleasant! They want to isolate me because of the compromised immune system, and we get a much more peaceful experience.

Truth be told though times like this are so trying. The second round of the chemo was much harder than the first. The odd complications were harder to manage. I hope we have a handle on them for round 3. Oh how I long for Taxol. Isn't that a sad statement? 

I was planning on returning to work yesterday. That didn't happen. It's so very frustrating to be limited. I look forward to the day when I can be myself again. I miss my normal life, being strong and feeling well. 

I have been brushing up on the book of Job lately. Much like Job, my faith is rocked and I question, but I still have that faith. I pray that doesn't mean I am going to keep getting tested. I have had quite enough, thank you!


  1. Just hope you are feel better and get stronger! Cheering you on!

    ~ Liz Cacopardo

  2. Cheering you on as always. Get stronger my sweet friend. I am going to send you a message on Facebook that just might give you some encouragement. You can do this. I have tons of faith. Love and prayers always.