Wednesday, October 19, 2011

standing on the edge of 7

At this time tomorrow, I should be able to say "ONE MORE CHEMO!" Please keep me in your prayers as I go for round 7 tomorrow. Time is flying by so quickly now. I made my appointment to meet with my Radiation Oncologist next week. It's almost time for tanning!

The return to "normal" life is close now. I wonder if it ever will quite feel like it did before. I can't imagine that it will ever quite be the same as it was. I look at life through different lenses now. I would love to say that once I have my last infusion this all goes away, but deep down, I know it won't. It's now a part of me. It's not all of me, but it's a very large chunk at this moment. I suspect that percentage will change overtime, but the experience has permanently changed me.

What will I do with it? I'm not totally sure yet. I did see a quote today that resonated with me: "There isn't a single human being who hasn't had plenty to cry over. The trick is to make the laughs outweigh the tears". Right on! Life is enhanced by laughter and smiles. I cannot go back to taking life for granted. I cannot go back to just floating along. I need to spread some positive around. Whether that be by smiling more myself, finding ways to help others, teaching my son to be a good person who will have a positive impact on this world. I don't want to squander this experience. I have learned much in the past few months, and there are so many new ways that I can contribute. I think of Steve's shirt that simply says "Impact... Make one" I want to come out of this a better person than I would have if my life had not taken this unexpected detour!

1 comment:

  1. You are always in my thoughts and prayers-but especially tomorrow I will be praying for you for dose #7!!!!! No doubt in my mind that you won't get through tomorrow's dose like you've gotten through the other six (minus the nausea and icky feeling)!!!!!!!!!! Much love, good vibes, positive thoughts, prayers, and strength are always with you. You are an amazing inspiration to so many-and there is the light at the end of the tunnel. All of the very best tomorrow!!!!!! Love you!!!!!! Fingers crossed too!!!!!! :)