Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The long and winding road... and a little sob fest

This weekend marks a joyous and special occasion for me. The first non-chemo, chemo weekend! This is the first alternating weekend in four months without side effects. Seems so hard to believe, but wonderful. I am praying that this cold finally bites the dust in time for me to fully enjoy it.

It's amazing to me to think that chapter is closed. There were days when I thought it would never end. But sure enough, it did. It goes to show, it is possible to get through very hard, trying times. I had to persevere. That's how it works. I couldn't just sleep through it, as much as I would have liked to.

In the last four months, we have been through a lot. 4 trips to the ER. 8 infusions. A scramble in the middle to chase down the drug I needed. Countless doses of Zofran. Bizarre side effects. Joint aches. A bald head (or a fuzzy head to be moer accurate). Sleepless nights. Exhausted days. A roller coaster ride to be sure. But it was also a time where I got to spend extra time at home. A time where I realized that as tough as I had it, there are others who suffer more. A time when I got to be inspired by my Making Strides team. A time where I came to appreciate how loyal and supportive my husband can be. A time where my parents sacrificed much to help me through. A time where I realized how loved and how strong I really am. So as much as I would like to pretend it didn't all happen, I am grateful for the impact it has had on me.

Now for a few tears... Here are some songs that have struck a cord with me in the past few months. I get blurry eyed every time I hear them. So I am sharing them with you. Sob along, won't you?

Just stand up. This one gets me everytime because it captures what it's like to go through the battle:

I'm gonna love you through it. Sung by one of my all time favorite singers, written by the daughter of a survivor about her father's support of her mother during her fight. Side note, the video is all real survivors and their support groups. I can get past the first line now, but I still don't think I have made it through the entire song in one sitting. HUGE SOB:

I run for life. By Melissa Etheridge, a survivor herself.

And happy birthday to my big brother Chris! Thank you for your support and love... I'll take those awesome encouraging text messages any day. Love you

1 comment:

  1. I love Martina McBride too, and yes, I have cried countless times listening to her sing the song I'm Gonna Love You Through It. I doubt very much there has ever been a time where I haven't cried during that song. Same goes for Melissa Etheridge's song; but I think Martina McBride has a bigger impact on me-not too sure why; I guess I like her music better.
    I have been dealing with my own 'stuff' but I am always thinking about you, praying for you, and giving you strength. You have done amazingly well, and I know you will get through this next phase. Hugs, love, and prayers always. I am so proud of you.