Well, every once in a while, I guess it's ok to get mad. So here's what I am mad about. It bugs the crap out of me that my body is not up to par right now. It bugs me that I can't walk for hours on the boardwalk like I used to. It bugs me that I can ride my bike for miles and miles. It bugs me that most days, I absolutely need to take a nap or I just cannot function.
Anyone who knows me knows that sitting still is not something that I am used to. However, now, I just don't have the physical ability to go and do like normal. I know I will be able to go back to normal when this is over. I remember one of my survivors telling me that she was walking around Shoprite and couldn't understand why she felt so out of shape... Then she realized it's just the toll that chemo takes on your body. I also know that now, she's competing in all sorts of athletic events: biking, running, doing muddy obstacle course things. So I know I will feel normal again, and perhaps even stronger than before. In the meantime, it's just annoying.