Last night, I dreamed that I was in my parents old basement. I was hanging out, minding my own business. Suddenly, I saw a huge spider slide down a web from the ceiling. Then there was another one, and before I knew it, there were countless spiders and other bugs creeping around, and some even crawling on me. I freaked out (and I am sure a reader or two might be shuttering too). SO gross! In the dream, at first I panicked. Then a faceless voice told me to get bug spray and kill the bugs, so I did.
I woke up at 2 a.m. with the creepy-crawly feeling and a decent hot flash from my battle with the bugs. So since I was awake and had time to kill before I could go back to sleep, I checked out the dream bible dictionary website to see what it said about my dream. Here's what I found:
To dream of a spider represents feeling trapped or hopeless. A negative situation that feels inevitable or impossible to escape. Beliefs about things that you think are permanent or will never go away.
Alternatively, spiders may reflect irrational beliefs. Powerful insecurities that prevent you from doing what you want in life. Irrational fears that prevent you from enjoying yourself, or powerful desires for things you don't believe you can ever have."
Here's how I'm taking this. Of course I feel like i'm somewhat trapped in the world of metastatic breast cancer. I know it's something I can never really get out of. However, It's not hopeless, and I can do something about it, hence the bug spray. I guess that was the chemo popping into my dream.
Moral of my dream story is this. There are times throughout this ongoing journey when I am scared out of my mind. There are times when I feel like I am stuck and can never get better... And then there are times when I get my head on straight and grab the bug spray and move on.