There are times when I am weighed down under the seriousness and stress of my disease. It's a scary deal, knowing that my body is trying to attack itself. It is not pleasant to think of the treatment that lies ahead. Add that to normal every day stressors, and it gets overwhelming.
This week was one of those weeks for me. It was a tough one. Very emotional, very busy, very overwhelming. But then there were the balloons.
A tidal wave of pink ribbons and turtles on facebook from my sorority sisters, many of whom I haven't seen in about 15 years. A message of love and hope from 3 sisters who have repeatedly snuck up on me with happy surprises and support. The kind of best friends who can tell me what I need to hear, and keep my head on straight when I need them most. Random cards in the mail, or notes of support. Emails and flowers. A wonderful friend who is casting on with yarn to keep my head warm. Another sweet friend who is always on stand by with a joke when I need one. A silly son. Family who I can always count on for emotional support, help when I need it or to drive my sorry ass to my appointments. New and old friends who treat me like a normal person, not a cancer patient. A husband who has washed more dishes, and cooked more meals than I can count... And who gave me the good pizza, while he ate the burnt pieces.
Each one of these and more are balloons for my spirit. The more balloons I have, the higher my spirits. I need to keep my spirits up. The fight ahead is a long one. I expect the road will be bumpy. But I am lucky to have balloons to help me. I need them to keep me from falling down, and staying there.
I know chemo is coming. I know how demoralizing chemo feels. I just got my hair to where I want it to be, and it's going to be taken away from me again. But if that's the cost of the fight, so be it. I have balloons to lift me up. And for that, I am grateful.