We all know how odd life can be. The truth is everyone gets their times to be put through the ringer. I used to prefer being the supporting cast in such a story rather than the lead. However, now knowing that mom is going to go through her ringer, I'd go through it all myself all over again to prevent her from going through it. Before you think I'm noble, I have to admit it's selfish. It's no fun going through the physical crap that comes with treatment. But it's ten times worse watching someone you love go through it.
But the truth is, this too shall pass. Her time through the ringer will come and go. And when it's over, she will be fine and strong. I cannot tell you how many times in life I have said I wish I had the fast forward button. Whether it was while me or my friends went through the heartache of a breakup, or me getting through chemo, or plowing through school when I was burnt out. There are so many moments of our lives that we want to wish away. However, we can't. Those days are here to shape and effect us for a reason. Perhaps, it's to teach us true love when we see it or to teach us not to take things for granted. Whatever the struggle, there's always a lesson to be learned.
Time does heal all wounds if you let it and are patient enough. I was noticing my surgery scars after treatment today and realized how beautifully they are healing. I will never look the way I did before, but I am ok with that. My scars a precious and they are here to remind me of what I have gone through and of how strong I am. I don't hate them. They are a natural tattoo, the result of a rite of passage I had to go through. Perhaps I had to go through it to lead my mom through. I don't know. All I know is we will get through this.
“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.”
― Robert Frost
In other news, weather like this makes me grateful for hot flashes.