Monday, January 16, 2012

Out of Active Treatment

If all goes well today, it will be the end of the long road called "active treatment". A huge milestone for me. It's the end of all those things that were rattled off to me in May, when I swallowed hard, and said "full steam ahead"! A double mastectomy, 4 rounds of AC, 4 rounds of Taxol, 28 rounds of radiation.... As of 1:45 this afternoon, they will all be checked of my to do list!

What an amazing feeling! I alternate between wanting to dance and and wanting to cry. It's been a rough road for my family, but we made it. As much as I hated treatment, I am grateful to God that they exist. They saved my life! I am blessed.

So now what lies ahead? I have no idea. I do intend to make a mark on this world. To do my best to make God glad he gave me the opportunity to be here. I don't intend to be overt about it, there are quiet ways of making a difference, and that is what I plan to do.

I am not going to lie, I went through a lot. This has been a crappy road to have to walk. But there have been moments of grace through it. I know that God was never far from me, and I know that I was blessed. I am lucky that I was healthy enough to receive the most effective treatment plan available for my disease. Some people aren't. I am lucky that my disease is treatable. Some people don't have that luxury. I am blessed to have the best support system a girl could want. Not everyone does.

As much as I want to forget the last 8 months, I know that I won't. They are a prominent part of me, and have changed me. I just will do my best to make sure that the change is for the better.

For today, I am just happy to say "it's over!"

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