Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Winning with cancer

I have heard so much about beating cancer. It has been something I have been striving for for more than two years now. It's the dream of anyone who hears those dreaded words. No one wants to lose that battle. What an awful thought. But then it occurred to me, tumor burden aside, I have already beaten cancer. No, that is not a medically confirmed statement. But it is my truth. Let me explain. Cancer wages a war on two fronts: the physical battlefield and the emotional one. The physical war still rages on in me. And hopefully, my troops are on the move and continue to kick some ass. But that remains to be seen. The emotional war is the one I am winning. I am not depressed. I am not crippled by anxiety. I am not buried in fear. Instead, I am happy. I am hopeful. And I am living my life. I am not curled up in a hole somewhere waiting for the storm to pass. I am dancing in the rain. Life goes on and I am a part of it! Take that cancer, you cowardly bastard! I am working. I am living life with my husband. And I am raising my son. My faith in God is as strong as it has always been. In fact, in someways, my life has been enhanced by cancer. I have several published articles that I am proud of, and that wonderful book that I never thought would come to life. I have raised funds for cancer charities. I have been there for others who have Needed the support and understanding of someone who has walked in their shoes. I have walked through the Mets clubhouse wearing my own Mets jersey that now hangs in my closet. I bathed in sacred waters in the presence of our Lady of Lourdes. I have met living miracles and am working On my own. Oh yes, cancer, my life is better because I chose to move forward with my head held high, in spite of you, come what may. And I plan on continuing to do so for a very long time. So hang on cancer, you are in for a bumpy ride. I don't take kindly to losing and I don't give up easily. Just accept that. And really, you wold be doing us both a favor if you wold just disappear or quiet the hell down for quite a while. I have things to do, and you really don't need to tag along. I will be just fine without you. But if you insist on staying, just sit down and shut up!

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