So you will notice that I don't capitalize the "c" in cancer. That's something that I have decided to do as a symbolic gesture to not give it more importance than it deserves. I am living with cancer. It means that it is a part of my life, but it does not define my life, nor does it completey control my life.
Part of living with cancer is accepting that things can change at any time. That can be an improvement or a setback. It's a difficult shift. When I first was diagnosed with stage 2 cancer, I thought I just had to get through it, and would come out the other side and be able to leave it behind. what I didn't realize is you really can never leave it totally behind... But most especially if you advance in stage.
But not all bad things come of it, and life doesn't have to suck just because I have experienced metastasis. I won't let it. I really have an issue with cancer trying to control everything. It doesn't seem like it deserves that right. I am fortunate that now I am aggressively screened for recurrances and will be aggressively treated as need be... And in the meantime, I just pray that I don't need more treatment. But that's out of my hands. What I can do is just continue to smile, laugh and love. That's what I always did. Why should I stop now?
Yes, I am living with chronic cancer. but what the heck.... who cares. I'm living!