surprises

You know, there are several amazing surprises/revelations that I have seen as NWC.

1. It is amazing how unbelievably kind people can be. I have been just blindsided by the outpouring of love and generosity as we muddle our way through our new life.  I am amazed by the wide-sweeping kindness from random sources.
2. There are people in this world who I haven't even met until now who have reached out to me to share their love and concern. Just a beautiful testament that people have such goodness in their hearts.
3. Once you realize that cancer is beatable, life doesn't suck so much. In fact, it is wonderful in many ways than I imagined before. Like Helen, a beautiful survivor has told me, you get to the point where you think "ok, it's only breast cancer" and you realize it's doable. That is the most empowering feeling in the entire world!
4. I thought I would never sleep again after I heard the news. I found that eventually, you do get tired enough and calm enough to sleep again.
5. While in many ways, I am adjusting to my new normal, today was the first day that the majority of the day felt like it used to. I had a full day at work where I can honestly say for the first time in 2 weeks, I really felt functional. It's funny how what I used to find normal is now somewhat foreign. Talk about messing with your head.
6. I never had any clue how many amazing organizations and programs are out there who are a resources for people with cancer. I always knew about the big ones: Komen, ACS... But, I have found young survivor's network, reach to recovery, cleaning for a reason (SO COOL---google that...), and feel good, look better.
7. While I always knew we lived in a pretty advanced time medically, the amount of technology out there is mind boggling. I cannot tell you how many times I have said "who the heck figured that out?" with regard to a test or a procedure. It's simply miraculous to me. I am SO grateful for the science nerds out there who studied and researched and learned so much. My new motto, "hug a nerd!" I think I am going to have buttons made up. 
8. It's amazing how a diagnosis like this puts things in perspective. If you told me a month ago, I'd be facing double mastectomy this summer, I'd probably tell you there is no way I could do it. But when I really had to make that decision, it was a no brainer, my aesthetics don't matter. My health and my life matter. My soul matters. The "window dressing" so to speak, doesn't matter. 
9. The world doesn't end when you think it would (although ask me tomorrow evening which is the supposed rapture day. hey if it happens, the good news is, no chemo for me! see, there is an upside to everything, even the end of the world isn't the end of the world. haha!)
10. I'm one hell of a lot stronger than I ever thought I could be. I draw my strength from so many places: from my faith, family, prayers, that smiling little two year old, the special other little kids in my life (especially my nieces, who in some ways, part of this battle is dedicated them. I want to show them by example how to be positive, faithful, strong women. I have no doubt they will be some day), all the other women out there who do not yet know that they will be joining this amazing sisterhood (I need to be able to guide them when it's their turn)